Confessions of a Recovering Over-Achiever.
I’ve been quite internal these past weeks, descending into the longest night of the year…
I taught a sold-out workshop on Sydneys Northern Beaches a few weeks ago. My first big event in ages. And although I feel more robust than ever I am highly sensitive. Following some big and difficult decisions about my Teacher Training (more on that if you’re registered for VIP updates – GO HERE) – leaving my nest to travel, produce and teach is no small feat for me. So I take all the time I need to recover.
Once upon a time, I’d get through a big event like that and ‘hit-the-ground-running’, get straight back into the next ‘urgent’ thing, the next project. Without adequate down-time or recuperation, integration, celebrating my wins, or taking the time and space I needed until I felt truly ready. I was stuck in a belief that the world would stop if I stopped! I didn’t have access to that kind of knowing, or that kind of honesty.
Sure, I ‘could’ keep going, getting shit done. But that doesn’t serve me (or you) anymore.
I have finally learnt that nothing is (really) urgent. And if my body is not ready, I am not ready. It’s that simple.
I am listening. I am making amends. I will NOT push. I will no longer pretend that I am invincible. Nor do I want to be. Those days are over. Amen.
But please hear me: I do still experience a familiar ‘pull’ toward my old way of being. I can slip into the ‘talk-too-fast-mode’ when I get excited or anxious. I sometimes feel the seduction of playing a bigger game than I am actually up for. My Muse gets me into all kinds of trouble! This seduction has me occasionally over commit. Because it’s familiar. It’s what I know. Since my earliest years amidst the violence, the heartbreak – I learnt to stay out in front of myself as a way to survive it. I grew a tough exterior. I adopted some behaviours that looked mighty impressive to the world – but were detrimental to my soul and to my health. But it meant I existed, and to push my body like a machine gave me some sense of control. So it’s been – and still is – a profound healing process to unravel that one.
So, yeah, I’m a work in progress.
This is my message. This is why I am here. To model that kind of authenticity and commitment. To show up anyway. To give you (and me) permission to listen more deeply, even if it gets messy. It’s necessary if we hope to begin to trust that life has our back. That things can and will wait, until we are ready. And to trust that the dark will shift. And if changing gears like that doesn’t feel within reach for you just yet? (Maybe you’re like – yeah right!) I hope that I inspire you to dream into it as a possibility for yourself… Because it wasn’t always like this for me. My trauma, my PTSD ran the whole show and I felt powerless in the face and force of it. So living a spacious, creative, restful life began as a ‘fantasy’. And thanks to my big breakdown (ummm, breakthrough) in 2011, it’s now very real. I want that for you too. Ideally without the breakdown. I want you to create the life you yearn for. To really fucking ‘have it’. Like I am.
I feel so grateful that I actually ‘got’ this. That I finally saw through my own self-deception. That I can afford this, have this, give this to myself, make amends.
May you, in time, give that to yourself too.
Here’s a snapshot of my last few weeks:
That said, I just wanted to remind you that:
Great things happen when we’re parasympathetically dominant.
(That means the opposite of the sympathetic or Stress Response – which is where I lived most of my life).
Life slows down.
Our whole system purrrrrs. And new possibilities emerge.
The the body can heal. All. By. Itself.
When we’re chronically busy, overriding our need for rest, our bodies are hardwired to respond as if we were in a ‘crisis’. All. The. Time. So we’re continually flooded with stress hormones. The nervous system is ‘always-on’. The brain can’t switch off adequately when we do rest. Our gut and reproductive systems are mostly off-line. Our hormones are out of whack. Little wonder an epidemic health crisis is unfolding. Anxiety, adrenal fatigue, pain, digestive and reproductive issues, sleep disorders, autoimmune diseases, burnout, mystery illness… Sound familiar?
So when we down-regulate and move OUT of a stress response into a parasympathetic (relaxation) response our breath becomes full, slow, and deep. Our hormones balance. Our sleep is sound. The adrenals are plump, our digestive system works well, inflammation reduces. Tissue mends and pain decreases. Our Psoas is juicy and supple. We become more resilient so we’re more stress-hardy, less flappable. In turn our relationships and lives flourish.
The immune system purrs. There’s more space and calm around things. Even the challenges – because we’re more like ‘teflon’. So we can regulate and bounce back with ease after stress and illness. We have more energy during the day. We feel great. We stay juicy and mobile as we age. And we can meet an actual crisis with what’s needed because we’re resourced rather than depleted.
My work plugs-you-in to your parasympathetic super-powers through self-regulation mastery. I give you the tools to cultivate your parasympathetic capacity which fast-tracks cellular repair.
It’s the secret-sauce ingredient for stress, SIJ instability hip and back pain, sleep issues, anxiety, high sensitivity, trauma and chronic illness. And even if you don’t have any of these – you might be an A-type and you’ve seen the writing on the wall. It’s time.
Want to know more?
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1) Join my Psoas Love FaceBook group HERE.
2) Share any of the posts with the details for the prize AND tag three friends.
We can Skype or meet in my Studio.
Drawn on June 26th. Good luck!
I am here, surrendering to the process.