
This is the work. In action.
I promised to launch Permission to Rest this week….
A few of you have asked about it.
Full disclosure: Recently I had a meltdown. Yep. Ironically it was as I was preparing to go ‘offline’ for a 4-day digital detox holiday! Craaaazy! Right?
And whilst I’m left in a kind of foggy, gentle space – there’s no doubt I could have pushed myself to deliver on schedule. Pulled some all-nighters (like the old days). Sure, that habitual masculine, ‘getting-shit-done’, pushhhhhing-the-limit-paradigm has a gravitational pull. Still. It’s lurking in me. The seduction of what my nervous system is so finely attuned to from early trauma (stress). I’m still learning to see through the clever camouflage (like my Muse). So I can catch it sooner every time – rather than most of the time…
As I write this my heart pounds. I don’t want to let you down. My beautiful, loyal tribe.
But I can’t do it anymore. Push. I won’t. It feels too stressful. And you deserve better than that. Also, this is not how I choose to live anymore, or how I want to do the work. I choose instead to do it from a place of restfulness, ease, integrity. And I know you’ll ‘feeeeel’ where I’m at as I create – in the end product.
I am re-discovering my ‘groove’ as a business woman. 25 years in business flies in the face of learning a whole new ‘online’ framework and culture. I’m still in trainers. (Thank god for my assistant). Strategy, leads and deadlines combined with digital platforms? Just forget it, baby. I’m an old-school entrepreneur, a hands-on, all-heart, creative, people-person. So as I expand and stumble I am deeply committed to doing it MY WAY – as an embodiment of the work. Which means – taking care of my nervous system as I go, each step of the way. Refining, redefining my own self-care. Including how I do business.
The behind-the-scenes process to create a digital version – of what comes so naturally to me in the human-to-human context – is utterly mind-boggling. I keep underestimating what it takes to do this online gig WHILE honouring my highly sensitive system.
There’s soooooo much screen-time. My brain protests! My nervous system sizzles if I over do it.
And this is WHY I resisted doing the online stuff for so long. It’s a far cry from working with flesh and bones and the juicy hearts of humans in a room… But I am completely, utterly committed to getting this work out into the WORLD. It would be easier to go back to the old way, but I want to make this work accessible to more people.
So the meltdown was a gift. You see? It showed me I need to expand team Kylian. (Note to self: hire gardener, cleaner, increase assistant hours, book dentist…)
So back to the launch…
Throw in a messed-up sleep-cycle (thanks to my Muse, and the screen) and readying for Airbnb and Jury duty, post-meltdown brain-fog and a mini-meltdown? And double-forget it.
So I’m going SLOW here.
I need a permission slip from you…!
Just a little more time darlings. Can you grant me that?
It’s sooooooo close.
And whilst it’s edgy for me to NOT-always-have-my-shit-together (I’m still working on being messy AND being ok with it) – I am keeping it fucking real. All the way.
So here it is. Here I am. All of it.
I suspect some of you may judge me as being unprofessional. (Or is that the whisperings of my own inner critic?)
But I also have faith that those of you who really ‘get’ what I am about – will be nodding as you read this. You’ve been there too right? Wished you could say “no” to that impossible deadline or to-do list? When life pressed in on you, and you ached to curl into a ball for daaaaayyys… To cool your brain, give yourself more space. To simply exha-a-a-a-a-le… Yes?
So, love, my hope is – what feels like a risk, a brave act of self-care and what many business mentors would say was certain suicide – will give you permission to do the same.
To just say no.
And to meet yourself in your next melt-down or messy moment – with kindness and compassion and remember there’s people like me who are just as messy. Just as sensitive. Still learning.
T h i s . I s . T h e . W o r k .
In action. I am walking my talk.
And if you ‘get’ it – even just a little bit – the sane-ness and human-ness of this disclosure? If you’re nodding? Crying, grinning or cheering?
Thank you.
From the quiet recesses of my heart. ♡
“Unlike self-criticism, which asks if you’re good enough,
self-compassion asks what’s good for you.”
– Kristin Neff
I happened to share this recent melt-down experience with 3 of my coaching clients over the past week and all of them responded with a cheer and relief and said “I love that because it helps me feel like it’s OK when I stumble too!” And – as so often is the case – what was intended as a simple email to my tribe – I decided this is an important conversation. So I want this to go on record here to normalise this.
I’d LOVE you to write me a permission slip below (LOL)… or tell me about a time when you said ‘no’ (or wanted to) to honour your need for a sane life… Your voice gives others access to their own stories, struggles, triumphs.
I believe together we can forge a new way to live and do business and work.
Let’s stand together.

1 Permission Slip – with Love 😀
It’s all about integrity. How can you expect someone to hear what you have to say without it … the ‘do as I say’ but don’t ‘do as I do’ scenario which you are so right to reject.
Looking forward to the time when you are ready and knowing the finished product will be sooooooooooooooooooooo good.
Gentle hugs.
Permission slip and lovely to touch base again. I have no affiliation with this blog attached but it speaks to the heart and thought great to share. Bealtaine cottage blog in Ireland, its about slowing down.💜💜💜
I’m new to your work, but I say, “You go. Girl!” I live at the same address, walk in the same shoes – however you want to describe it, this has been my life too. I’m learning to slow down myself, to say, “I’m sorry I can’t make it happen,” to give myself permission to take good care of me so that I have something left to offer the world. My world is smaller than yours, but it’s still too big for me sometimes, and I have to set limits on myself if I’m going to participate in my small world with meaning and purpose. Take care of you. I can wait as others have waited for me.
Dear Kylian
Take it from an old girl……you did the right thing. Look after yourself first. We type want to care too much for others. I pushed for yrs until I fell permanently over into CFS. Doing a lot better recently with repairing my nervous system.
Blessed woman. I wish you well on this journey of self discovery.
Love
Nia
Keep keeping it real <3
Abso-fuc#ing-lutely baby ♡
Dear Tribe
Please excuse Kylian Martin from work until further notice. She will return and complete her promise to you after a brief recovery period. Thank you for your understanding.
Thankyou darling. This made my day. ♡♡♡
Thank you for your honesty, and of course we will wait! *nodding, smiling*
Glad to hear you expanded team K. Good move. x
So good to have such a positive tribe. Thank you Alex. *nodding, smiling*
Oh so grateful.
Xx
I totally hear you on this one Kylian xxx
As a health professional working with people heart to heart, face to face, the digital world scares the hell out of me. I’ve spent 12 months procrastinating on launching my online program because of fear and meltdown.
We’re with you honey …supporting you and imploring you to rest xxx
It will all happen in perfect time 💜
I think this is bloody awesome hon!! Take your time.
Thanks for keeping it real. (Just how I like it) 😉😘
Thanks sweetheart. I reread it and cried! 😂 Tis pretty bloody awesome. Real. 💛
Amen, girl <3 If you needed a permission slip from me you'd have in a heartbeat, but you don't. I can tell that much. You have your own permission, and I love that.
Inspired. Thank you.
Oh darling. Thank you. Kindred soul. ❤
❤️
❤
love your work, your authenticity, your integrity to self, your commitment to spaciousness
its sooo what is needed in this mad chaotic world of pressure and deadlines..l and only we can give it to ourselves
love to you dear sister
xxx
Hi Kylian,
I hear you and feel you. I’ve been there before. xx
You have my total permission to rest beautiful.
I haven’t seen you in a while, but I still really respect and honour your work and are amazed by everything you’ve done in the last few years.
Take good care,
Genevieve xx
Thank you for this post. Wishing you healing , slow time. On reading this, it has given me more sign posts on my healing journey , and now devising a way to be digital free As much as possible. On first reading I felt disappointed that you had / have mini meltdowns as I wanted to be inspired to be fully healed … And then of course I realised that is part of the problem , to expect perfect health all the time … I am so early in my healing journey that this is in fact the perfect reminder that to expect perfection is part of the problem , and acceptance of how it is , is far better for healing . To have those reminders may even be healthy … To stop the slipping , and when such huge change has come about, like for you and for me in my awakening then it can be possibly be the awareness that can contribute to the mini meltdowns …. Because we know know know in our hearts and souls what we need , and st times we overide that… And so of course that’s where the compassion needs to come ( for me) … You seem already there
Thank you again… Sorry for the waffle, this is my learning from your post… So keep staying so true And creating from a restful place
With love from Lisa
Do what you need to do. We’ll be here waiting. Shall I make you some tea? 😉
Awwwww…. yes I’d like that ♡
I love you. that is all.
Awwww… Thanks Bonnie. I love you. That is all. ♡
I LOVE that you have written this! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 💜💕💜
So glad it hit the spot Sally. From the bottom of my heart darling ♡
…what Bonnie said. I love you. That is all xxx
What I said to Bonnie. That is all. ♡
Hye Kyles, loved reading this. i realised that is what i was attempting to do by selling my house and living like a gypsy for years…it didn’t turn out to be the ultimate nervous system de- fragger but was interesting to observe myself re- creating similar patterns! im sure youll find that the world didnt end because you took time out and your clients will love you more for your authentic-ness ! sending big hugs my dear ol friend XO
YES! Big love Zeph ♡
Can I just say Kylian, as I have stood to the side and watched you evolve and grow , I am here cheering each time you stop and acknowledge the reality of life… the reality of your life. You see, you walk the talk and that is so brave as a business woman, but it is honest and REAL…and that is what most people are looking for. Giving yourself permission to not pull all nighters, to be gentle with oneself and to nurture the emotion and body sensitivities that are present within are so important to living authentically. You hold the key Kylian….😊
Thank you for this reflection Vonda. I really am living and learning what I teach ♡
Wunderbar Kylie. Totally relate. I’m not sure how to do the online marketing thing at the level that MAY be required and stay in my heart and body. So I ask my True Source to guide me all the way and hand my life over. My soul knows what is best for me and that I am truly at peace when I am serving the great plan. I love your work and really enjoyed the Reset med. All power to you Sistar! xxx
Thanks Anelie! Yes it’s a fine tuned self-management practice. Deeeeep listening… I am so glad you enjoyed the audio ♡♡
Thank you for being a shining example of self love… xo
My pleasure darling ♡
BEautiful. Being you does change the world. I love that you are choosing for you!
Yes – I still trip up now and then…♡
Phew! Such a relief to know we are ALL the same….I don’t need to be superwoman and superhuman…I can take 5 and just be ME!!
Thank you for your honest integrity Kylian, you are sharing such loving kindness….much love to you X
You’re such a brave and beautiful soul! Thanks for inspiring us all! Embracing the new ways and releasing old pattern to ‘push’ is something I can totally relate tooooo – it’s a daily thing 😉 <3
Thank you. it is so helpful to hear from an honest human being – reminds me that we are all part of one big tribe. I cried.
Blessings
Michelle
Fucking awesome. We need more of these stories. You’ve inspired me to write one of my own. <3
This makes me exquisitely fucking happy! You go girl!!!
I feel a story coming on in the months to come. as a mum of a 2 year old and having just stoppped breast feeding…. there seems to be this crazy notion that mums can just do it all… and we cannot do it all …you are such an inspiration to share the truth!
Lisa and Belinda Awesome! Lets all tell our stories with courage and free ourselves (and others) in the process!!! xo
Right there with you Kylian, the pushing way of doing things is outdated and unsustainable and just doesn’t feel good… ease and flow all the way xx
Oh yeah….♡
Haha- I said no to making the kids a second piece of honey toast this morning so I could lay in the sun 🌞💛🌞 I’m glad I have your permission and you’ve sure got mine 😍
I love that Kat. That’s it!!! Saying no is sometimes more necessary than saying yes. Love you xx😘
Love you Kylian and your full disclosure – let’s keep resting and take excellent care of those finely attuned nervous systems! I’m so in there with you, thank you for spelling it out and keep advocating for it! <3
I feel your stance Claudine. Lets rest. Lets honour our nervous systems as though our ives depend upon it. Because they do. I love you too sweet woman ♡
I Say yes to NO – all the way with you K xxx
I know you do ♡♡
LOVE that you are so real! It allows the rest of us to stay true to what we TRULY need too 🙂 xxxx
Thanks Star! Yes I’m really getting that, how I literally give people permission to be themselves (to rest, be messy, say no…) ahhhhhh… ♡