Why affirmations don’t work.

So how is life showing up for you?

For me, it is incredibly rich. I’m feeling deeply aligned and alive. The almost-3-month fog has cleared and I am really inspired and renewed. I am receiving unprecedented support – which includes a few new Team Kylian members… more on that next time (wink).

 

Ok, this is really big for me to share so openly. (Breathe…)

When I recently began – after a long dormant period – to move forward into my new vision… WHAM!
I hurt my back!! Ok, to be brutally honest – I was venting some Kali-like rage and I picked up a yoga bolster and proceeded to thrash it about. (My lineage of therapists would be so proud!) Then I stopped in agony! My L5/S1 screeeeaaaming….

down I went.

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A week later:

I move in and out of pain. Dialoguing with and releasing my psoas throughout the day, hanging upside down, baths, activating my fluid-body. All the good stuff…
Lower back is all about support, so there’s plenty to work with for me…
There you have it. Full disclosure. That wasn’t so hard!

 

When we feel called to make a change and state a new intention – a breakdown of some kind will follow. From a little nudge – to monumental deconstructive chaos. We can’t predict or control what form it will take (though we may try). But we can trust that this ‘bump’ is how life shows us where we need to grow ourselves – if we’re to be the person we claim we want to be. Yep, first the old construct must go.

Ahhhhh…..

Sheer relief (or terror? – depending on your orientation). For me, knowing this makes everything OK. It helps me to stay rooted here, in my center and to trust the perfection and intelligence of life. I can soften in to knowing…

I’m right on track. And life is, in fact, listening!
You see, these past few years – I have been making some pretty BIG declarations – and life has been testing my resolve – and delivering. You may not know this – but a few years ago in the midst of my triumphant recovery following a major health breakdown – my beloved niece got sick, really sick. I was with her when she died, and it was the most humbling experience of my life. It shaped me in ways I am still coming to understand.

Inside of that heartbreaking moment – I made a promise to her to show up FULLY in the world! Yes. To bring forth my work, in a way that serves me – and humanity.

 

And even though I’ve never gone back on my word – I gotta say, that each time I up-level, (like announcing an interstate workshop, launching a new package…) without exception – Life, the universe, God, great spirit, my higher self – call it what you will – literally shows me where I need to develop within myself.

What a gift! It’s genius! 

So instead of resisting and grumbling about what shows up, I give thanks. Well, mostly.

 

It’s a reframe. It’s radical. And it’s liberating.

If I’m truly aligned with my new intention – then it’s smooooooth sailing, without any breakdown. Yaaaaay!

But if I have some unresolved issue or undeveloped part of me that stands in direct conflict with my new intention? Then I’m gonna know about it.

 

I’ve been watching this for a few years now and I can confidently say that:
to the degree I make my declaration – my call will be answered.

Every single time. If I half-heartedly make an affirmation that I am abundant – but I have a belief that I’m unworthy – then I can expect little to change. No big breakdown. But no shift either, so no moolah. The same applies with creativity, love, power… everything. So it makes sense that if I want what I want – but I’m not willing to take stand – mediocrity will be the order of the day. No thank you.

However, if I wholeheartedly declare to the world “I AM ABUNDANT!!!” and I’m willing to stand in it, and for it, come what may? Life will bring opportunities (in the disguise of some kind of breakdown) to bring me into alignment with the worthiness that abundance requires. I suspect this informs why so many people think affirmations don’t work. Because they don’t. Not in the way we might think or want. We gotta do the (inner) work. We can’t just expect our intentions to be so because we ‘say’ it is, we need to develop into it. ‘Til every cell is a “yes” to it. This requires courage, humility, self-compassion and faith. To stay the course. To claim it. The breakdown is simply our breakthrough in waiting.

 

Here are just a few of the main themes for me that provide a renewable source of evolutionary fuel:

i) the old way of being/pattern  ii) where I need(ed) to develop in order to up-level into my new declaration:

• i) fearful of being seen/disappearing myself  
  ii) creating safety to be witnessed & valuing my own worth and message!
• i) feeling like I’m too much (too intense, too loud, too messy, too neurotic) 
  ii) claiming my BIG, expressive, juicy, loving, sometimes ferocious and unreasonable spirit – unapologetically.
• i) fierce independence/isolation/doing it on my own  
  ii) finding my tribe/cultivating my sense of belonging in the world/learning to receive. Amen.

All of it’s welcome. Triumph, Kali, brain-fog, intensity, despair, grief, affluence, joy, power…. And all of it is met with kindness. I really do believe the whole spectrum is necessary (if I’m gonna be the un-messable and powerful leader I feel called to be). So some of you will love me – and others will hate me. And I don’t care. And that is relatively new for me.

And it feels fucking liberating. Yes, I sometimes swear.

 

So what’s your intention dear one? Is it a whisper – just rising up, or a fierce and loving declaration? And has life shown you some hidden places where you’ve needed to shine a little light in order to claim your birth right?

Please take a chance and make your declaration below!

It’s time now to go soothe my Psoas…

With deep gratitude and love,